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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24788782">Palliative Care</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/'>Anonymous</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman &amp; Terry Pratchett</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley has depression (Good Omens), Crowley is a Mess (Good Omens), Graphic Depictions of Illness, Major Illness, NonTerminal Illness, POV Crowley (Good Omens), Sickfic, Stargazing (but as an illness), throwing up</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:07:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,870</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24788782</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Crowley had been steadily getting sicker over the centuries ever since his Fall. Unfortunately his illness was left unchecked for so long that it’s finally progressed for the worse.</p><p>~Just a Crowley is seriously ill and Aziraphale takes care of him as it progresses fic.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>76</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Anonymous</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>“Palliative” means to lessen or relieve and refers to a type of care that has comfort rather than cure as its goal. Palliative care is focused on making the patient more comfortable by managing their symptoms instead of attempting to treat or cure the underlying disease.</p>
    </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Honestly, im sad and not feeling well. Plus I headcanon Crowley suffers from Stargazing (a symptom of a worse disease in reptiles and an actual disease in birds) so this is me just writing sad stuff because of all that.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Wither. It’s such a funny word, or at least it is to Crowley. It’s a term that generally refers to plants that are past their prime and dying. Drying up, like vines and worms left forgotten to bake under the sun, parched and left wanting for relief from the heat.</p><p>Yes, <em> wither </em> was a hilarious word Crowley thought as he laid, sprawled and sobbing his heart out. He too was withering, but it wasn’t the heat that was killing him. It was time, and he knew his was running out no matter what Aziraphale wanted to claim otherwise.</p><p>He knew he should have told the angel sooner about this, about what was wrong with him, this affliction, but he had wanted to deny that there was even anything wrong in the first place. How was he to know it would grow and ravage his body in this way? </p><p>Even without wearing his corporal form this illness was there, digging its claws and sinking teeth into his very being, into his very essence. It had been slow to force him into this state, slow enough that he had learned to manage each new symptom well before a new one popped up. </p><p>But now it didn’t matter, he couldn’t function on his own, couldn’t even sit or lay down without help. It was a horrid way to live, exist without truly existing and what was even worse? Aziraphale surly felt burdened, <em> disgusted </em>with him, and how could he not? </p><p>Crowley sobbed even louder, trying and failing to roll onto his side as pillows kept him from moving from his spot on the bed. Aziraphale had begun using weighted pillows ever since Crowley had shaken so badly that he had fallen out of bed. Crowley had been grateful to Aziraphale for them, but now all he could think about was how much the added items must inconvenience his angel when they both shared the bed. </p><p>“Useless,” Crowley whispered, eyes focused on the pillows, before his lids shut and he covered them with the palms of his hands. He was starting to feel dizzy again and his spine ached with the need to arch so that he could curl into himself.</p><p>“Z-ssssira,” Crowley whispered brokenly, sibilants making it harder to speak then it already was for him at the moment. All he wanted was Aziraphale and at the same time he wanted to be as far away from his angel as possible. </p><p>“Azsssiraphale,” he tried to get out again, voice still brokenly soft before another sob left him. He felt sick, so sick and he was desperate for some sort of comfort, but even more desperate for a trash can as the dizziness turned to nausea and he felt a roiling in his guts that felt as if his intestine dropped. </p><p>“Ziiira-ha-ah!” Crowley sobbed out, not quite a scream but definitely loud enough to carry out of the room and into the kitchenette when Aziraphale was currently trying to boil water to steep some mint in. </p><p>It wasn’t for a few seconds before the sound of Aziraphale’s frantic steps could be heard and he was at Crowley’s side, frantically looking him over. Then yanking him into a sitting position and pulling his hands away while tilting his head to face the flooring as said demon had begun to retch.</p><p>“There now, get it all out. It’s alright,” Aziraphaletried to soothe, hand pressed against the back of Crowley’s head more firmly when he tried to pull away, even as he gasped and coughed, body feeling weak with every breath. When he finally calmed down Aziraphale slowly pulled his hand away and Crowley slumped forward.</p><p>He felt even more disgusting now and squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to see how he felt reflected in Aziraphale’s expression. In the back of his head he knew Aziraphale would never find him disgusting, they had been through some truly horrifying things together throughout the centuries and puking paled in comparison to many of them, but he was exhausted and humiliated that Aziraphale had to help him with even this that it made him believe that Aziraphale would.</p><p>“I’m so sorry my dear, I shouldn’t have left you laying down alone.” Aziraphale said softly, rubbing between where Crowley’s wings would be if manifested and Crowley just shook his head. Aziraphale should have just let him discorporate, suffocating as his own stomach acid drowned him from being unable to turn over. It would have been a mercy for the both of them.</p><p>“Just… just help me lay back down,” Crowley said quietly, sniffling for a moment before dry heaving and immediately blowing air through his nose, trying to dislodge the putrid stench and bile that ended up in his nasal canal.</p><p>“Fuck, gunna be sick again,” he mumbled, quasy and Aziraphale quickly miracled a cloth hanky to wipe his mouth and nose. </p><p>“Darling, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Aziraphale frowned as he continued to gently wipe Crowley’s face off, “Why don’t I get a bath going? It’ll be nice and hot,” Aziraphale continued softly, expression full of hope that Crowley would be happy at the suggestion.</p><p>Crowley shook his head, “No, it’ll just make me feel worse. ‘M stomach’ll get all light instead of heavy and it’ll feel like it’s floating.” His hands moved to press against his stomach just at the mention of how it would get, face growing even paler then it was.</p><p>“A shower then?” Aziraphale said hopefully and Crowley just shook his head once more.</p><p>“Dizzy,” was his simple reply and Aziraphale sighed sadly before snapping his fingers to clean up what he couldn’t from Crowley and the floor. It was the best that could be done for the moment as far as getting everything cleaned was concerned.</p><p>“That’s alright, perhaps later then,” Aziraphale smiled softly and vanished the soiled hanky a moment later. Then he pressed a kiss to Crowley’s forehead and drew him in for a hug that wasn’t returned.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Two days later Aziraphale was bustling about the kitchenette and Crowley sat slumped over the counter, lukewarm mint tea sitting beside himself as he stared at nothing, eyes trained on a wall. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He still felt queasy but he hadn’t thrown up for a good day, so Aziraphale had dragged him out of bed, well not literally but Crowley wasn’t exactly happy about it. He honestly didn’t see the point of leaving the bedroom as sitting at the counter wasn’t much different, he still shook while walking and it was hard to stay upright so he was having a hard time understanding Aziraphale’s logic on this. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Plus, his mind was blank and felt like the soft expanse of room temperature air only for it to pressurize when he attempted more than a thought or two. Kind of like a dull pulse that had no rhythm or pattern but still managed to pulse like a half circlet at the back of his head, wrapping around until it met his nose and traveled down the bone before stopping.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Honestly, why did Aziraphale drag him out here only to sit him down and ignore him? At that train of thought, Crowley sighed, no that wasn’t fair of him. Aziraphale wasn’t ignoring him because he wanted to, the angel tried to start a conversation earlier but all he did was mumble and make sounds to show he heard Aziraphale speak. It was his fault he was sitting in silence.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And great, now his back teeth felt pressurized. This was just looking like it would be a good day, wasn’t it? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Can I please go back to bed,” Crowley mumbled, eyes finally shifting to look at Aziraphale who was adding... something to a pot. He just wanted something to shove his face against and go back to sleep.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Crowley, I would love to let you go back to bed but…” Aziraphale trailed off, and Crowley’s nostrils flared. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But what!?” Crowley snapped, an angry pout on his face. He didn’t feel good and Aziraphale knows that and yet he still made him attempt to walk out here. He just wanted to take another nap, that was all and Aziraphale still made him come out here.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley’s lip started to wobble, Aziraphale just stood there looking at him apologetically but he wasn’t saying he was sorry, wasn’t even saying anything and all he wanted to do was sleep. Why wasn’t sleep helping? Why could he never stop feeling tired? Sleep always used to help, it always used to make him feel better.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Please, just help me back to the bed. I’m tired Aziraphale,” Crowley's eyes shifted to the wall again as he spoke brokenly. It was too hard to fall asleep at the counter if he could get his traitorous corporation to actually do what it was supposed to do, then he would have just gone to sleep already.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Please, angel,” Crowley whispered and then felt tears well up in his eyes and Aziraphale’s sigh.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Crowley, you need to stay awake,” The tears started to roll down his cheeks at that. Why couldn’t Aziraphale understand?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know you’re tired,” Aziraphale continued and Crowley just continued to stare at the wall, “but my dear. You’ll feel even more tired if you just go back to sleep. I know it makes no sense, but you sleeping all the time is just feeding your lethargy.” Aziraphale finished quietly, but even though he knew Aziraphale was right, it still hurt.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He sniffled, heart feeling like it was going to shatter. His angel was supposed to love him, so why was he being so cruel? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He heard Aziraphale’s sigh again before feeling a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he heard Aziraphale whisper in a tone that almost let him believe that was true. But if Aziraphale really was sorry, then he wouldn’t just stand there and say words, he would let him go back to sleep. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“S’not fair,” Crowley sniffled because it wasn’t, he was genuinely hurt by this and Aziraphale wasn’t making it better. It’s not like he’s trying to ask for much, he didn’t even want to get out of bed in the first place. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know, and I really am sorry Crowley, but this really is for your own good.” More softly spoken words that made him feel like curling into himself. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But how about this?” Aziraphale questioned next, “If you can get a bit of soup down, I’ll let you nap for a bit.” Well... that didn’t really make him feel better, but…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright,” Crowley whispered before feeling lips against his temple and Aziraphale’s hand was no longer on him, causing the spot it no longer occupied grew cold.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Honestly, I have no idea what happened with some of this. I feel like the POV is kinda off somehow but I was having a bit of a block on what to write so I think that's what happened. Hopefully the awkwardness of some of this is just in my head and you all end up enjoying this chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The soup hadn’t done much to help, in fact, now he just felt heavy and cold as his cheek pressed against Aziraphale’s shoulder. A bucket was nestled between his thighs, kept in place with blankets. While Aziraphale had an arm wrapped around his chest, pinning one of the blankets in place by a hand cupping Crowley’s shoulder in an attempt to keep him both warm, and unable to fall over. As well as keep him from curling into himself.</p><p>Every so often Crowley felt like the heaviness would somehow tighten, and he would be compelled to inhale deeply until the blankets rose around his stomach and then his chest. He wouldn’t be able to stop the inhalation until the lining of his stomach felt stretched taut and a cold heat would settle in his chest, then the air would just rush out in one quick, deep exhale that left him slightly lightheaded. Or, if he managed to stop the deep breath he was taking, he wouldn’t feel right until he repeated the process a few more times.</p><p>It was after a rather long inhale which left Crowley trembling slightly, that Aziraphale gently squeezed his shoulder.</p><p>“You know,” He heard said angel begin, “I do very much love you, Crowley.” Tears welled up in his eyes at hearing the love in Aziraphale’s tone.</p><p>“I truly do my dear. I know I upset you earlier, so I just wanted to say that.” Crowley sniffled, feeling his forehead grow hot and a dull ache start in the back of his throat. Then Aziraphale shifted, moving his head off the shoulder that he had been using as a pillow and Crowley squeezed his eyes shut, pressure growing in his skull as panic started to fill him. Why did Aziraphale think he had to say that? <em> Did Aziraphale… </em> </p><p>Before he could finish that thought, Aziraphale was cupping both sides of his face, gently tipping his head back, the pressure in the hollow of his skull abated slightly while the tension in his spine, he didn’t know he had, went away as well.</p><p>“Will you open your eyes for me, darling?” Aziraphale asked softly and after a moment’s hesitation, Crowley obliged. But when he opened them, all the saw was patience and affection in Aziraphale’s expression, instead of… well, he wasn’t sure what he expected to see but he thought it was going to be negative somehow. </p><p>So when it wasn’t, he had no idea how to react and he ended up just staring as Aziraphale’s smile brightened slightly.</p><p>“Thank you, dearest. Now you absolutely do not have to forgive me, but I do want you to know I’m so very sorry for upsetting you. I know you’re tired, and me keeping you up doesn’t seem fair.” Aziraphale sighed and Crowley swallowed, he was right it wasn’t fair.</p><p>“But I just… I just wanted you to know I’m sorry...” Aziraphale looked down, smile falling, and sighed once more. “I’m afraid I’m not very good at this.”</p><p>“What?” Crowley said softly and blinked, raising both his hands to gently grip at Aziraphale’s wrists. “Aziraphale it’s alright, I… I get what you’re trying to say, alright.” At least, he thought he understood what Aziraphale was trying to say. And while the apology didn’t really make him feel any better, he could tell Aziraphale meant it at least.</p><p>“But… but Crowley it isn’t alright. I know just saying I’m sorry isn’t going to cheer you up just from uttering the words, but… I hate that I’m hurting you. Even if the intentions behind the hurt are supposed to help you, it doesn’t make the fact you’re upset any better.” Crowley shut his eyes for a moment and let go of Aziraphale’s wrists, then he reached for the bucket and awkwardly moved it from his lap and to the floor, before moving them back to pull Aziraphale’s hands from his face.</p><p>Crowley took a steadying breath and let it out just as he opened his eyes again. “Help me face you,” he said, already trying to wiggle his body to face Aziraphale and nearly falling off the couch sideways before said angel caught him by his bicep.</p><p>“Honestly,” He heard Aziraphale mutter under his breath as he was pulled back onto the couch and he frowned, shoulders drooping slightly as he was maneuvered to face him.</p><p>“Sorry,” Crowley said quietly, trying not to let the hurt he felt from the utterance be heard in his tone, and then tossed his head before Aziraphale could help him hold it upright.</p><p>“Oh Crowley, please try not to do that,” Aziraphale winced and then leaned forward to feel his neck.</p><p>“It’s fine, doesn’t hurt. Actually feels sorta relieving to do.” He shrugged but leaned into the touch.</p><p>“Even so, we don’t know what sort of harm that’s putting on your neck. I don’t want anything breaking.” He rolled his eyes at that, getting annoyed with Aziraphale’s fussing already. </p><p>“Ok, ok, Aziraphale stop, seriously,” Crowley finally ended up pushing Aziraphale away before he could get too frustrated with it. “Stop getting off track, I had you turn me for a reason, ok?” </p><p>Crowley sighed, averting his eyes to the side as Aziraphale sat up a bit straighter, and took his hands. They stayed limp in Aziraphale’s gentle grip.</p><p>“Look, I…” he paused unsure of what to say all of a sudden, and for a moment, he thought about changing his mind and just curling up into a ball instead. At Aziraphale’s gentle squeeze of his hands, he took a deep breath, eyes shutting, and then opening as he exhaled. “I just,” an audible swallow and anxious glance at the angel’s face before eyes darted away again.</p><p>“Just want you to know that I don’t think you’re terrible at this. And uh…” He drew in a deep breath, nerves all over the place. “Please know I’m not trying to push you away,” Crowley whispered, staring at his lap.</p><p>“Crowley…” Aziraphale pulled his hands closer and he felt kisses pressed to his knuckles. “I never thought that even for a moment.” His angel breathed and, and he smiled softly. Because for what felt like once in his whole life, a weight was lifted from him slightly.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry about the lack of update, I know it's been awhile. I was just having a bit of a hard time writing more than a single page for this chapter. After reworking some of the ending I managed to get it combined with the draft for the one that would have come after so I think I'm happy with this one now. It'll start getting a bit happier soon, but I'm still having to get the two through the rough stuff.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Crowley gave Aziraphale a soft smile, his hands were still being held by the angel’s but the touch was more tolerable with his sudden uptick in mood. <em> His angel didn’t think he was pushing him away </em>, and for whatever reason that made him feel better instead of worse for being so moody when Aziraphale didn’t deserve that.</p><p>“S-so you’re not upset with me?” Crowley asked softly, he just needed to double-check for some reason. He knew Aziraphale mustn't be, but for some reason, he still needed that verbal reassurance.</p><p>“Of course not, my dear,” Aziraphale replied gently, moving to press a kiss to his forehead this time. “I do admit you’ve been a bit fussy as of late, but that’s hardly a reason for me to be upset with you. Especially when you have reason to be. I’m sure I’d behave much worse if our situations were switched.” Crowley felt his cheeks heat a bit at that. Aziraphale did make a good point, but he was still a bit ashamed of his behavior at the moment.</p><p>“I-“ Crowley paused and gnawed at his bottom lip, “yeah guess so.” He sighed and looked down at his lap, not wanting to argue Aziraphale’s point. </p><p>“Now then,” Aziraphale began to speak again and Crowley frowned when one of his hands were let go of, and blinked when he noticed it slowly move towards his face. He stared at it confused until Aziraphale pinched his chin gently with a thumb and index finger and Crowley let the hold move his head up.</p><p>The first thing he saw was the gentle smile on Aziraphale’s face, then the tender expression, and Crowley almost pulled away, feeling like he didn’t deserve that look even though they just spoke and he knew everything was ok.</p><p>“Would you like to try ingesting something again? I can put more tea on or make you some eggs.” Aziraphale asked softly and Crowley just swallowed, gaze shifting to look down as much as he could.</p><p>“N-no thanks, angel. I don’t think I could keep anything down right now.” He said quietly, stomach already turning and forcing a queasy feeling up his spine at the thought. </p><p>“Well,” Aziraphale made a soft-sounding sigh at that and Crowley glanced to the side slightly. “Perhaps after a bit of rest? You did very well for me staying up as I had asked. So I think about an hour or so wouldn’t be too detrimental.” Aziraphale said gently, running the backs of his knuckles along Crowley’s cheek, and he leaned into the touch.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Things had started to get better slowly after that, Crowley had been able to keep more food down, sit on his own for periods of time without immediately falling over, and was able to walk short distances without Aziraphale constantly fussing over him. Sure he still needed help but, for some reason, he had gained a bit of strength with the affection he was openly allowing again. </p><p>Apparently not outright rejecting praise at every turn was having a positive effect on his health, or it seemed that way at least. Honestly, Crowley was still struggling with that. While he was feeling better and therefore more receptive to it all, he also still had this niggling little doubt wiggling around in the back of his head.</p><p>And so when it popped up, he felt more squirming at your feetish which made it hard not to shut down on Aziraphale. It really just made him feel as if he would take a step forward in progress only to take two steps back, even if the angel assured him that wasn’t the case.</p><p>It was all just depressing really, Crowley wanted to stop being sick, wanted to stop being a burden for Aziraphale so badly. It was just that he wasn’t able to, no matter how hard he tried, and that made him miserable. Miserable and annoyed to the point he would snap randomly, just like he wanted to do right now as Aziraphale continued to try and coax him into eating.</p><p>“I said I wasn’t hungry!” Crowley immediately felt bad at the look on his angel’s face, so now the guilt was quickly replacing his bad mood as he looked off to the side.</p><p>“I- Aziraphale I- I didn’t,” he stuttered and then flinched as the sound of a spoon clattering onto the plate just a bit too loudly.</p><p>“I know,” Aziraphale sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose before sitting down in the chair beside Crowley. “I shouldn’t have kept pushing, but <em> Crowley,” </em>Aziraphale said, sounding like he was at the end of a rope while rubbing at his face and then holding his head up with palms at either temple, fingers carding through his hair.</p><p>“<em>You have to eat Crowley, </em> you’re already bone thin. I know you haven’t an appetite, but you <em> have too. </em>Even if your sickness will cause you to expel it, at least you’ll have gotten a bit of the nutrients into your system. Please, you’ll waste away,” Aziraphale pleaded softly at the end.</p><p>“Zira, please,” Crowley said quietly, already feeling a sickening twist in his stomach, “please don’t make me. I know I need something to keep me going, but <em> I can’t.” </em>Crowley let out a shuddering breath, hands fisting in his lap.</p><p>“Look, I know I'm small, and thin, and skeletal. But it’s just a corporation, I can get a new one, I-“ </p><p>Aziraphale cut him off.</p><p>“Crowley, just how can you get a new one? You can hardly go anywhere without help. And even if you managed, you would be easy prey for any of the other demons. It’s not that simple and you know it.” Crowley swallowed hard at that, tears beginning to well up in his eyes, but before he could even try to get a word in, Aziraphale continued.</p><p>“And even if that wasn’t the case, what do you think they would do when they saw your true form? You can’t even remove your corporation without feeling as if,” Aziraphale swallowed, “As if you're going to pass out. I haven’t even been able to properly care for your wings because of that, so please don’t tell me you can just get a new corporation.” </p><p>“I’m- I’m sorry,” Crowley sniffled, tears falling now as he noticed the tears beginning to gather in Aziraphale’s eyes. “I’m sorry Aziraphale, I- I…” Crowley keened and Aziraphale quickly stood and closed the distance between the both of them to hold Crowley close.</p><p>“I didn’t mean to upset you, dear.” Aziraphale began gently, slowly running a palm over Crowley’s hair to smooth it back in a comforting gesture.</p><p>“I don’t enjoy being harsh with you, but you have to understand how bad this situation is that you’re in.” Aziraphale continued just as gently and Crowley just buried his face against Aziraphale’s midsection, hands coming up to fist at the clothing there.“Are you sure you can’t at least stomach a watered-down soup? It’ll at least be something.” </p><p>Crowley just pressed his face harder against Aziraphale, and the angel sighed. “I suppose that means no then.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Eventually, Aziraphale was able to coax Crowley into swallowing a few spoonfuls of watered-down soup, followed by half a cup of ginger tea. Though by that point Aziraphale had to help him back to their bed before he was able to get the demon into finishing the rest of the tea.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, my dear. I know that must have been hard for you, but I am </span>
  <em>
    <span>so proud</span>
  </em>
  <span> you were able to finish what you did.” Aziraphale said softly, rubbing the small of Crowley’s back with one hand as he set the cup down on the nightstand with the other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I feel like shit,” Crowley mumbled, hands fisting at the bedding on either side of his shoulders before he groaned and pressed his face into the pillows, already regretting giving into the angel’s pleading. His skin felt clammy and everything was already cramping up. It was awful and even if he could manage to let go of the grounding grip he had on the bedding, miracles already proved to be useless at providing relief.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry Crowley, but it will pass. It normally does.” Aziraphale said while still rubbing small circles against the small of the demon’s back and Crowley whimpered, legs moving in an attempt to try and find a position that would help ease the ill feelings.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Doesn’t mean it gets any easier to deal with,” Crowley groaned and tried to curl in on himself, and when that didn’t work he forced his hands to let go of the bedding to grab a pillow and position it between his thighs and stomach. He started to pant a bit, but at least the pressure helped a little.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“‘Spose you won’t help miracle me less full?” Crowley managed to say between pants and Aziraphale shook his head as he began to knead his lower back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry Crowley, no can do.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Said demon made a whimper before trying to curl in on himself even more. “Worth a shot,” he mumbled and then gave a small moan as Aziraphale used a miracle to heat his hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I suppose so,” Aziraphale replied in gentle agreement before smiling slightly at the small sound, “Is this helping?” He asked, tone hopeful, and Crowley managed a nod as his mouth began to water.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Y-yeah, a bit.” He managed to get out, tone breathless due to the queasiness that shot through him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale just beamed and continued to knead his lower back, one hand moving to try and worm its way between the pillow and Crowley’s lower stomach. To which Crowley just moaned and tried to curl into himself more so that he could trap the heat, and newly gained pressure, against himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad.” Aziraphale began, pressing his hand a bid harder against Crowley’s lower stomach while kneading his lower back muscles harder. “Perhaps doing this often enough will help mitigate some of the discomfort? Do you think we could try this again tomorrow after you eat some more?” He really was hoping this would be the case, it was just getting Crowley on board that would be the difficult part.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“T-tomorrow?” Crowley stuttered out, the thought of eating again sending an unpleasant coldness to the pit of his stomach, “I- I uh… dunno, angel. Don’t er…” he swallowed and tried to curl in on himself a bit more. “Don’t think I have the stomach for that, I already feel so sick from what I had tonight.” He swallowed again, eyes squeezing tight at the sigh Aziraphale made.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, I understand that, Crowley. But you know you need to eat, and I’m not saying it has to be a lot.” Aziraphale began, heating his hands a bit more. “What I am trying to say is that we need to start getting more nutrients into you. I’ll admit, I hate how sick you feel afterwards, I know it’s going to be unavoidable, at least for a while.” He sighed again, “But if we don’t get some sort of routine, work you up to having more than a meager meal, then nothing is going to improve.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Crowley’s lips trembled while Aziraphale spoke, knowing the angel was right but also dreading having to do what Aziraphale was saying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I do rather think that if we try, it will get easier. Even if it might not, and that is an if, you’ll at least feel better in the long run. That, and this heat seems to be relaxing you a tad. Perhaps if we try meals spread throughout the day, followed by this, then it may grow to be bearable?” Aziraphale finished explaining before bending a bit to place a kiss on Crowley’s temple. “Can we at least try, dear?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Crowley really didn’t want to but had to grudgingly admit that Aziraphale did have a point, and it wasn’t like his angel was meaning to be cruel by his suggestion. So with a sigh, and a few errant tears gathering in the corners of his eyes, Crowley took a deep breath and let it out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“S’alright, we can try.” He said quietly, and the way Aziraphale beamed down at him, seemed to be glowing with happiness, made him feel a bit better about agreeing.</span>
</p>
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